Life as I know it

This is my story.

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The way you challenged me was so rare and rewarding that I’m afraid I’ll spend my future looking for someone who is half the person you are — and I’ll fail. The bar you’ve set is frighteningly high and when I look down from it, I feel nauseous.

My inability to hate you excites me more than it frightens me.

January Nelson (Thought Catalog)

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I keep myself occupied with things to do and places to go to keep from breaking down. Being busy brought joy and fulfillment but the moment I started slowing down,  everything seemed worse than before. Emotions intensified and suddenly I lost direction. Frantically, I searched and clawed for anything that could possibly make me feel whole again. I constantly remind myself that I have to fight for everything that I want and all my life people have been telling me that but ever since I started doing that, I get this feeling that he’s telling me to slow down and be still. It’s so damn confusing and frustrating.

I know I’m suppose to be this strong, independent woman but I think I’m burning out. The fire’s extinguishing, I think I need a renewal.