It’s been a couple of weeks/months since I last had something to say here but I think I’m ready now. Very few people see through me and those that do, scare me. I see through most people because I was given the gift to but not for just any random reason but for a purpose and this is to help. “With great power comes great responsibility”, I can’t deny the truth in that. So much of me is gone and I didn’t even realise how obvious it is to some people. Thinking I could just hide it all away, sweep it under a rug. People ask me why. I say, life happened. 

It used to be all about inner battles but I don’t even think I’m fighting anymore. There’s no will, no strength, nothing. Breaking down is not an option because if I do, who’s going to make things work, who’s going to make life better. All the emotions I used to feel don’t apply anymore. It’s like I’m just numb to everything. People are telling me that I always look troubled, that I’m always running away. I am running away, I know that but I didn’t know anyone else figured that out. 

Maybe I’m best at the one thing I advise against. Avoidance. All I really want to do is run away to a place where I can find peace, happiness, hope and love. I just want pure serenity. That’s all I’m asking for. Just some peace of mind but I doubt there’s such a place here on earth. Lord, I just want a day to sit down with you over coffee and talk. Not bothering about earthly things. Just you and I round the coffee table perhaps with a ocean view. You don’t even have to say anything, just sit next to me and lend me your shoulder. 

How about tonight Lord? How about we do that tonight?

Tomorrow’s a mystery

The uncertainty in my future is daunting and my mind often wanders off when it’s idle into a realm of the unknown. It is said you choose the path and you are what you make of yourself. In my opinion, I think the path has been paved by a divine power but the effort and heart that you put into it is yours to decide. Life is as such. 

It’s been awhile since I last blogged about something concrete. Everything seems fine at the moment but I can feel something is amiss. Just can’t put my finger on it. We all set out to find ways to circumvent the obstacles in life but there are always going to be blind spots. It’s just gonna knock you down and watch while your knees hit the ground. I’m not being a pessimist here or ok maybe I am naturally one but it’s true. Again, life is as such. 

We’re into the third quarter of the year and my mom’s planning for Christmas already. I am excited for some reason, something to look forward to. Gonna start listening to christmas carols to get into the mood, people would probably think I’ve lost it but then again, I don’t care what people think. 

Feliz navidad…